Jonny and Carly!

Southern Comfort

Today, as I was working out in the cold, I couldn't help but think of the warmer weather of the Carolina's. It gets cold this time of year, but not as cold as the good ole' damp northeast. Here lives the cold that cuts to your bones and makes any venture outside a task that is dreaded. I feel bad for the trees. They stand so tall, with their arms stretched out, with their bare bones naked to the wind, without the opportunity to move except to sway as the wind sees fit. Sorry trees. I suppose you should all move to the Carolina's.

I get a warm feeling inside when I think of South Carolina. Wherever I have lived, it seems that the place comes with a certain feeling, one I suppose that is created by the environment that you are in. The people surrounding you, the job or whatever it is that you do, the things you are involved in. To me, South Carolina is the feeling of a deep sigh, on a crisp spring day, when the cherry blossoms are sprouting pink, and the faithful sun falls on you in all your dreariness. A peace that lands on burdened shoulders.

My memories of South Carolina made me smile today, and it brought that feeling to my heart.

Carry on, sweet southern comfort, carry on...

the lone cart

I have a habit of always choosing the lone cart. At a supermarket or grocery store, there always seems to be a cart that is separated from the rest and is near the entrance, handily ready for me to use. Instead of prying one away from the train of other carts, which can often be quite a job in itself, I grab the poor lonely one thats not spooning with the others, and head out in search for whatever it is I'm there to buy. Not long into the journey, I realize the mistake in choosing this cart, as there is something usually always wrong with the lone cart! That's why it was off to the side all by itself! Why I don't learn this is beyond me. I don't know how many of these carts have ruined my shopping experience. Pulling hard to the left or right, some sort of weird clunking noise, the wheel acting like there is a stone under it, or just one of the wheels not working at all. Put all that together with a crowded wal-mart isle and it's enough to ruin your day. Or just frustrate you, if your one of those good perspective kind of people. Thankfully today as I entered walmart, there was a nice gentleman there to make my decision for me, and I didn't feel the tug toward the lone cart.

Advice for the day. Steer clear of those lone carts. It's not worth it.

These Hard Times

Give me something brighter
Give me something I can see
Give me something vicious
Give me something I can be
Give me all the love and peace
To end these wars
Give me something sacred
Something worth fighting for

It's clear enough to me
The ugliness I see
Is evidence of who I need

Give me an answer
Give me a way out
Give me the faith
To believe in these hard times

Give me motivation
Give me all my heart's desires
Show me something gorgeous
Show me till my eyes get tired
Give me all the drums and
Show me how to play them loud
Show me how to move
When I can't feel that you're around

It's clear enough to me
The ugliness I see
Is evidence of who I need

Give me an answer
Give me a way out
Give me the faith
To believe in these hard times

We hide like theives in shadows
Scared of the sun
We know the light will find us
Us and all we've done

Give me an answer
Give me a way out
Give me the faith
To believe in these hard times


+NEEDTOBREATHE+

I love these guys

Another Circle

Lancaster, Pa. Good ole home. It's been a while since I've spent a lot of time here in my hometown. The past 2 years-ish I've been in and out for small periods of time, but they've been small stops on the way to other ventures. It feels good to be here, and I'd like to spend a good amount of time in the land where I grew up. The more I have traveled the more my appreciation for this county has grown, as I began to see the uniqueness that lives in this place. It's got the down home feel, as everyone knows everyone else, and I love that.

Since being here, my heart has felt weird. I love being here and all, seeing family and friends, but I just feel so lost. All the adventures and traveling and trying to keep life exciting have all been amazing, but haven't led me too far. I kinda feel like I've been running in circles for years, working a little, then going on an adventure. Then back to work and then when sick of it, go on to another adventure. I thought with the purchase of a house this would all stop and I would fall into some sort of stability, but nope, here I sit, post adventure, wondering whats next. I'm not sure what this time holds for me but I'm hoping it has something to do with a job that enables adventure and supports life, so that I don't have to quit my job every few months when I feel the tug to go...and then come back and start all over again. But that kind of job is rare, and usually comes when you are the owner and can dictate and manage your own time. I can't say that I have a lot of hope for this.

Basically, I think I have been looking for something, but don't know what it is I'm looking for. Looking for the perfect thing to fall out of the sky and land on my lap, something that encompasses everything that I like to do and get paid for it on top of that. And it's been driving me insane. I think it was Einstein who said that insanity is doing something over and over again, and expecting different results.

I need to try something different.

Another Season

As I drove north, the once clear blue skies started to become spotted with clouds, as if a painter was adding them to the already painted landscape. It felt like I was actually in a painting. The clouds looked perfect, as if someone had spent hours creating them, adding just the right amount of shading. The landscape looked radiant, as the early morning sun fell upon it and lit up the countryside. The cows grazed in their pastures and the light breeze took the leaves from their homes to the ground. The drive from South Carolina to PA was beautiful, and I am so grateful to have been able to catch a little of the fall here on the east coast. I think fall is my favorite season. I said "I think" because spring is up there too. I'm not sure which is better, when the trees become embarrassed and change into all shades of color or when they find themselves and blossom and sprout into all they were created to be. Both are beautiful sights and I love them both. But there's just something about the fall that I like a little bit more. Maybe because it's the thing that ushers us into the holiday season, or maybe it's just the fact that I get to wear a hoodie and sit by the fire with a good cup of coffee. Cause that just feels right.

I feel like my heart is kind of in the same transition. This change of season thing is something my heart has been used to for a while, as I feel like I am constantly changing "seasons" and going on to new and different things. I kinda feel like a tree that as shed all it's leaves and my feet are stuck in the cold hard gound, with the bitter wind cutting to my bare bones. Not able to warm myself, and knowing that a cold hard winter is on its way, with spring nowhere in sight. I'm praying hard that spring comes early this year, as my bones are cold and tired. I'm ready to see some blossoms spring up in this life, that this tree would find it's beauty again, and live in the fullness of what it was created to be. The seasons are inevitable, I know, but maybe the winter will be shorter this year. I hope.

Fall in the Carolina's

John Cena

Cambodia is a broken country. Not long ago in its history lives the gruesome tale of genocide, which has scarred this country forever. In the 70's, many of the nations educated people were killed for the sake of social reform as Pol Pot tried to turn Cambodia communist. The effects of it are seen today as poverty thrives.

We entered Cambodia to the north, through a border town called Poi Pet, and stayed the night at a ministry there. As I was going into the building where we were staying, I was followed by a boy, who looked to be about 12 or 13 years old. He was following behind me and saying something in Khmer. I could tell that he wasn't all there, in his head anyway, and he was dirty and had some slobber around his mouth, that was forming a drip and making its way to his chin. I wasn't sure what to do because here was this street boy in the building with me, and I didn't really know the people in this ministry and I wasn't sure how appropriate it was to have this little boy wandering around with me. My fear was quickly absolved when a girl from the ministry rounded the corner, saw the little boy, and broke out a smile and yelled out his name. "John Cena!" A huge smile spread across his face, as the girl introduced me to the infamous John Cena. Thats not his real name, you see, as John Cena is a famous wrestler, it's just a nickname that he somehow earned, and I'm not sure of the story behind it.

I went on to learn that John Cena was actually 17 years old, and was a regular at the ministry. They told us about how when he was born, his mother gave him alcohol to drink instead of milk, and beat him severely for no reason. The scars on the back of his head told this story, as did his lack of motor skills.

But man could this kid smile. He's up there with the best of them, I'm sure.

It broke my heart to see this kid, who did nothing to deserve what he's been dealt. He spends the day begging, and makes enough to be able to buy food, and that's his life. As he sat with us at dinner that night I fought back the tears as I looked upon him and thought about the things stolen from this beautiful child.

John Cena was a beautiful, yet cruel, reminder of the state of this broken country.

Mucho Agua!

Sorry it's been a while folks. For the past month a solid internet connection has eluded me and the times that I caught up with it, I wasn't very motivated to spend time on it. A lot has happened in the past few weeks. Many places visited and people met. It's been crazy, but so good. I will try my best to capture my adventures in word and the things that I have experienced and seen. The last phase of my trip is going to be spent here in Bangkok and the internet faithfully lives here, so I have no excuse, save my laziness. It's been interesting traveling to all these different places and seeing people on the ground, giving their lives to something beautiful, the redemption and restoration of fellow souls. It has challenged me and inspired me and I know that I will not be the same. I am excited to share these stories!

And so here we are in Bangkok. The rain fell yesterday as if it was a mission from the clouds to destroy earth. I could picture each little rain drop all kamikazied out, with their little bomber suits on and their bomber goggles on, fist forward like superman, heading towards earth with a mission. It assulted us for hours in the morning, and with nowhere to go, their little bodies piled up, until Bangkok was an ocean. A nasty ocean. There was a weird film on top of the water, as if an oil tanker had overturned and spewed its contents, and as I made my way through the water, it left me feeling like one of those poor little seagulls that you see at an oil spill, all covered in oil. Nasty. I'm praying that I don't wind up with some weird type of hookworm or ringworm or some other type of worm, cause my feet have spent plenty of time in that water so far these past few days. A guy told me that this has been the worst flood that he's seen in 9 years.

Anyway, I'm excited for our time here and to process the last few weeks. It should be interesting as we are working with a ministry that reaches out to the men that come to Thailand as sex tourists. Up until now the ministries that we have visited are reaching out to the women at the bars, instead of the ones creating the demand. I'll keep you posted.

Pattaya, Power, and Frustration.

As we roamed the streets of Pattaya, the women called us in, the shop owners handed us their cards, and the neon lights lit our path. It's almost an overwhelming culmination of noise, as the traffic weaves and moves, horns honk, people converse, and music screams at the night. We found our way to the coast and met a guy named Bon. He tried to sell us drugs to which we politely denied and explained to him the effects of drug use, as he we curious why we didn't want the good stuff. We also talked about Jesus, but he said that he has money, and that he is happy. I think he also made a reference about him having buddha, and thats the "same same" as Jesus.

It was kind of frustrating, because it felt like I had to convince him that he was unhappy, which I didn't do. He says he's happy. He says he has everything he needs. But somehow, I have this feeling that if he had the option, he wouldn't be standing on the street corner selling drugs

It's in these moments of feeling powerless that I realize it's all about the power of God. But amidst my fears and doubts, I often struggle with the understanding of bringing this power into these situations. Do I pray and just believe that the Lord did something, even though I didn't see anything actually happen? Or do I pursue that? Pray and Pray until something happens that I can see with my eyes, or rather, pray until he actually feels the Lord encounter him?

Seems I need to figure out some theology. Or maybe just believe? I can't really say that I've ever had a power encounter with the Lord, but I believe that it can happen. Theology shouldn't be formed around what's not happening(thanks Bill Johnson!), and so is it a consistent pursuit of something that brings it?

What do I do to show Bon the power of God?