These Hard Times

Give me something brighter
Give me something I can see
Give me something vicious
Give me something I can be
Give me all the love and peace
To end these wars
Give me something sacred
Something worth fighting for

It's clear enough to me
The ugliness I see
Is evidence of who I need

Give me an answer
Give me a way out
Give me the faith
To believe in these hard times

Give me motivation
Give me all my heart's desires
Show me something gorgeous
Show me till my eyes get tired
Give me all the drums and
Show me how to play them loud
Show me how to move
When I can't feel that you're around

It's clear enough to me
The ugliness I see
Is evidence of who I need

Give me an answer
Give me a way out
Give me the faith
To believe in these hard times

We hide like theives in shadows
Scared of the sun
We know the light will find us
Us and all we've done

Give me an answer
Give me a way out
Give me the faith
To believe in these hard times


+NEEDTOBREATHE+

I love these guys

Another Circle

Lancaster, Pa. Good ole home. It's been a while since I've spent a lot of time here in my hometown. The past 2 years-ish I've been in and out for small periods of time, but they've been small stops on the way to other ventures. It feels good to be here, and I'd like to spend a good amount of time in the land where I grew up. The more I have traveled the more my appreciation for this county has grown, as I began to see the uniqueness that lives in this place. It's got the down home feel, as everyone knows everyone else, and I love that.

Since being here, my heart has felt weird. I love being here and all, seeing family and friends, but I just feel so lost. All the adventures and traveling and trying to keep life exciting have all been amazing, but haven't led me too far. I kinda feel like I've been running in circles for years, working a little, then going on an adventure. Then back to work and then when sick of it, go on to another adventure. I thought with the purchase of a house this would all stop and I would fall into some sort of stability, but nope, here I sit, post adventure, wondering whats next. I'm not sure what this time holds for me but I'm hoping it has something to do with a job that enables adventure and supports life, so that I don't have to quit my job every few months when I feel the tug to go...and then come back and start all over again. But that kind of job is rare, and usually comes when you are the owner and can dictate and manage your own time. I can't say that I have a lot of hope for this.

Basically, I think I have been looking for something, but don't know what it is I'm looking for. Looking for the perfect thing to fall out of the sky and land on my lap, something that encompasses everything that I like to do and get paid for it on top of that. And it's been driving me insane. I think it was Einstein who said that insanity is doing something over and over again, and expecting different results.

I need to try something different.

Another Season

As I drove north, the once clear blue skies started to become spotted with clouds, as if a painter was adding them to the already painted landscape. It felt like I was actually in a painting. The clouds looked perfect, as if someone had spent hours creating them, adding just the right amount of shading. The landscape looked radiant, as the early morning sun fell upon it and lit up the countryside. The cows grazed in their pastures and the light breeze took the leaves from their homes to the ground. The drive from South Carolina to PA was beautiful, and I am so grateful to have been able to catch a little of the fall here on the east coast. I think fall is my favorite season. I said "I think" because spring is up there too. I'm not sure which is better, when the trees become embarrassed and change into all shades of color or when they find themselves and blossom and sprout into all they were created to be. Both are beautiful sights and I love them both. But there's just something about the fall that I like a little bit more. Maybe because it's the thing that ushers us into the holiday season, or maybe it's just the fact that I get to wear a hoodie and sit by the fire with a good cup of coffee. Cause that just feels right.

I feel like my heart is kind of in the same transition. This change of season thing is something my heart has been used to for a while, as I feel like I am constantly changing "seasons" and going on to new and different things. I kinda feel like a tree that as shed all it's leaves and my feet are stuck in the cold hard gound, with the bitter wind cutting to my bare bones. Not able to warm myself, and knowing that a cold hard winter is on its way, with spring nowhere in sight. I'm praying hard that spring comes early this year, as my bones are cold and tired. I'm ready to see some blossoms spring up in this life, that this tree would find it's beauty again, and live in the fullness of what it was created to be. The seasons are inevitable, I know, but maybe the winter will be shorter this year. I hope.