Laziness and Liberty

 In Bhutan, the church is underground. There is not liberty to worship out in the open or to have a church building where you can freely meet every Sunday. The fellowships meet in homes throughout the country, in the privacy of their homes. But God is doing crazy things in this nation and the believers have seen an increasing amount of freedom as some key leaders in the church have had an audience with the Prime Minister, and have been able to ask questions and speak on behalf of the christian population. For the first time in the history of Bhutan, the leadership has said that you are allowed to have the freedom of belief, although it is not widely known as fact throughout the country, which is why the believers still meet underground. It was amazing to see what the Lord is doing there!
 It was an honor to sit among believers that risked their lives to meet and worship the Lord. I didn't feel worthy to sit among them, and many times during worship, as we raised our voices in song, I couldn't help but let a few tears slip away from me. It was overwhelming. It was in this time that I felt so convicted of my laziness with my liberty. Oh the freedom that we have as Americans! I can dance, sing, and shout from a mountaintop what the lord has done for me, without fear of being persecuted, other then a sarcastic comment or a laugh. I'm talking about the physical type of persecution. Like getting beaten or dying for what you believe. Or having your house raided and all your belongings destroyed, because you lifted up the name of Jesus.
 I have so many resources to glean from and opportunity to learn! I can read my bible in the open, I have Barnes and Nobles at my fingertips, full of words to learn from. But I have been so lazy with this opportunity. I'd rather watch movies and do mindless activities then spend time delving deeper into the stories of history or learning about something pertinent to life.
 I have what other people long for. Freedom. Freedom to study what I want, freedom to say what I want, freedom to do what I want. Why am I so lazy with this opportunity? I guess when you enjoy something for so long you begin to lose sight of how precious a thing you really are holding. You take it for granted until its taken away from you, and then when its taken away, it feels like your eyes are suddenly opened, and you kick yourself for not seeing what you really had. I want my eyes to be opened before it is taken away. To be able to see opportunity that has been afforded me my whole life. To grasp it and run with it, for the sake of bringing it to others. Freedom. Many long for it. When its given, it's taken for granted. Oh that I may live with the opportunity that goes with my freedom!

Love

“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket- safe, dark, motionless, airless--it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.”

 

~C.S. Lewis~

Hope

It's another day and I'm here at one of my favorite spots, sipping on my java and warming my insides and heart. It's chilly outside, with a sprinkle of rain teasing the earth. There's two construction-esque fellows sitting across from me, and the one fellow is telling the other about that guy in California who was apparently in his prius when it sped up to 94mph and he had to call 911. The guy hearing the story for the first time thinks it's hilarious and is forcing out a wheezy laugh while rearing his head back and shutting his eyes. One of those hearty kinds of laughs. It made me laugh. I guess he was laughing at the fact that he called 911, but it's hard to say.

Anyway hope is on my mind. I've been wondering where to find some? It has been somewhat elusive lately, or I should I say I fear that I've been duped. Duped into anchoring myself in a mere wish instead of true hope. I have been catching on to the lies. Disappointment has left me doubting hope. Doubting that it really carries, empowers, or even gives life.I kinda feel like hope didn't come through for me. But as I take time to look at my heart, I can see the fault lines which I crossed unknowingly. A wish that I had mistaken for hope. Wishing for things in life to look a certain way, for God to do this or that. Maybe that even falls under the definition of hope, I don't know. All I know is that this type of hope is not alive. It's not living. I am after the type of hope that is alive and well, empowering me to face the day. Hope that does not disappoint.  Because that is what is promised to me.  I have realized, as I've wrestled through the disappointment of the seasons, that my hope was placed in shakeable things.  In things that are movable and not steadfast.  And at the end of the day, disappointment has reared its head and made its home in my heart.  An unwelcomed guest you could say.  But what do you do when you place hope in something, thinking that its true and noble, only to find that it crumbles like a castle in sand?  Wasted time and energy, poured into it, only to come up empty handed.  But maybe not completely empty handed.  Live and learn right?  Wisdom has built her house.  She calls out to all those who pass by, "Let all who are simple come in here!"  I guess I should heed her call and stop in for a visit.  The problem is that folly calls out the same thing. Whose house have I been in?  When I look at the disappointment in my heart, I fear that I have heard the call of folly and tasted some of her stolen water.  But she told me it was sweet?

Oh matty, enough of the excuses.  Put your hope in things above, and not the things of this world that are fading away...

Ban Nam Jai

I miss these faces so much. Many times in life we set out to make a difference in somebodies life, only to look back on those experiences and realize that we were the ones impacted.  My time at a children's home in Thailand was one such experience. There is so much hope in this place!
                                                                          

I. like. this. song. And I have been hearing it everywhere these last few days...

I've been roaming around
Always looking down at all I see
Painted faces, fill the places I cant reach

You know that I could use somebody
You know that I could use somebody

Someone like you, And all you know, And how you speak
Countless lovers under cover of the street

You know that I could use somebody
You know that I could use somebody
Someone like you

Off in the night, while you live it up, I'm off to sleep
Waging wars to shape the poet and the beat
I hope it's gonna make you notice
I hope it's gonna make you notice

Someone like me
Someone like me
Someone like me, somebody

~Kings of Leon