Another Circle

Lancaster, Pa. Good ole home. It's been a while since I've spent a lot of time here in my hometown. The past 2 years-ish I've been in and out for small periods of time, but they've been small stops on the way to other ventures. It feels good to be here, and I'd like to spend a good amount of time in the land where I grew up. The more I have traveled the more my appreciation for this county has grown, as I began to see the uniqueness that lives in this place. It's got the down home feel, as everyone knows everyone else, and I love that.

Since being here, my heart has felt weird. I love being here and all, seeing family and friends, but I just feel so lost. All the adventures and traveling and trying to keep life exciting have all been amazing, but haven't led me too far. I kinda feel like I've been running in circles for years, working a little, then going on an adventure. Then back to work and then when sick of it, go on to another adventure. I thought with the purchase of a house this would all stop and I would fall into some sort of stability, but nope, here I sit, post adventure, wondering whats next. I'm not sure what this time holds for me but I'm hoping it has something to do with a job that enables adventure and supports life, so that I don't have to quit my job every few months when I feel the tug to go...and then come back and start all over again. But that kind of job is rare, and usually comes when you are the owner and can dictate and manage your own time. I can't say that I have a lot of hope for this.

Basically, I think I have been looking for something, but don't know what it is I'm looking for. Looking for the perfect thing to fall out of the sky and land on my lap, something that encompasses everything that I like to do and get paid for it on top of that. And it's been driving me insane. I think it was Einstein who said that insanity is doing something over and over again, and expecting different results.

I need to try something different.