South Side

Billy and I cruised the south side this afternoon. It was a beautiful day!





And this, folks, is Hollywood....

Red Eyes

what are you waiting for,
the day is gone?
I said I'm waiting for dawn

what are you aiming for
out here alone?
I said I'm aiming for home

holding on, holding on

with red eyes
What are you looking for?
with red eyes
red eyes

all of my days are spent
within this skin
within this cage that I'm in

nowhere feels safe to me
nowhere feels home
even in crowds I'm alone

holding on, holding on

every now and then I see you dreaming
every now and then I see you cry
every now and then I see you reaching,
reaching for the other side
what are you waiting for?

{switchfoot}

Easy Love

oh Love. If only you were easy.

Sometimes it is. I mean it's easy to love those that love you. It's easy to give it back when someone else is making the first step. It's hard to take the first step and point love in a direction you haven't pointed it before. It's easy to give love when it doesn't cost you something. That's easy. What's hard, is loving when I don't feel like it. Loving when love isn't returned. Giving of yourself when you don't receive anything in return. I've been thinking about how I haven't spent myself on behalf of anyone in a long time. I have made no effort to pour myself into something other then my selfishness. Reveling in my easy life, with my "problems"(Ha!) consuming my mind.

I profess to be a christian, but sound much like a resounding gong, because of my lack of love.

When asked if he was a Christian, Ghandi would reply, "Ask the poor who the Christians are."
If you asked any of the poor around here who the Christians are, my name would definitely not be mentioned.

I've been struggling with my selfishness lately. My eyes are being opened to the reality that I have largely been focused on myself and have failed to pursue anything other then that. Easy love has resided in my heart, but is that even love?

"If it doesn't break your heart, is it love?
No, if it doesn't break your heart its not enough"{switchfoot}

All attempts have failed
All my heads are tails
She's got teary eyes
I've got reasons why

I'm so confused
What's true or false?
What's fact or fiction after all?
I feel like I'm an apparition's pet

But you haven't lost me yet
You haven't lost me yet
I'll run until my heart breaks in
No you haven't lost me yet

These days pass me by
I dream with open eyes
Nightmares haunt my days
Visions blur my nights
I'm loosing ground and gaining speed
I've lost myself or most of me
I'm headed for the final precipice

But you haven't lost me yet
You haven't lost me yet
I'll sing until my heart caves in
No you haven't lost me yet

Ooooooo, ooooo, yeah

If it doesn't break
If it doesn't break
If it doesn't break your heart is it love?
No, if it doesn't break your heart it's not enough
It's when you're breaking down with your insides coming out
That's when you find out what your heart is made up of

And you haven't lost me yet
No you haven't lost me yet
I'll sing until my heart caves in
No you haven't lost me yet


-switchfoot-

Jonny and Carly!

Southern Comfort

Today, as I was working out in the cold, I couldn't help but think of the warmer weather of the Carolina's. It gets cold this time of year, but not as cold as the good ole' damp northeast. Here lives the cold that cuts to your bones and makes any venture outside a task that is dreaded. I feel bad for the trees. They stand so tall, with their arms stretched out, with their bare bones naked to the wind, without the opportunity to move except to sway as the wind sees fit. Sorry trees. I suppose you should all move to the Carolina's.

I get a warm feeling inside when I think of South Carolina. Wherever I have lived, it seems that the place comes with a certain feeling, one I suppose that is created by the environment that you are in. The people surrounding you, the job or whatever it is that you do, the things you are involved in. To me, South Carolina is the feeling of a deep sigh, on a crisp spring day, when the cherry blossoms are sprouting pink, and the faithful sun falls on you in all your dreariness. A peace that lands on burdened shoulders.

My memories of South Carolina made me smile today, and it brought that feeling to my heart.

Carry on, sweet southern comfort, carry on...

the lone cart

I have a habit of always choosing the lone cart. At a supermarket or grocery store, there always seems to be a cart that is separated from the rest and is near the entrance, handily ready for me to use. Instead of prying one away from the train of other carts, which can often be quite a job in itself, I grab the poor lonely one thats not spooning with the others, and head out in search for whatever it is I'm there to buy. Not long into the journey, I realize the mistake in choosing this cart, as there is something usually always wrong with the lone cart! That's why it was off to the side all by itself! Why I don't learn this is beyond me. I don't know how many of these carts have ruined my shopping experience. Pulling hard to the left or right, some sort of weird clunking noise, the wheel acting like there is a stone under it, or just one of the wheels not working at all. Put all that together with a crowded wal-mart isle and it's enough to ruin your day. Or just frustrate you, if your one of those good perspective kind of people. Thankfully today as I entered walmart, there was a nice gentleman there to make my decision for me, and I didn't feel the tug toward the lone cart.

Advice for the day. Steer clear of those lone carts. It's not worth it.